Why settle for coal when you can mine for a diamond?
After all, look at how much pressure diamonds undergo, and because of that, it’s the reason why they shine :)
Titles: What's the big deal?
What happened to the days when couples were content with just being together? They didn’t feel the need to put a “title” on their relationship. This was before the outbreak of labels came about. This was when people identified others by their actions, personality, and the people they surrounded themselves with— not by their relationship status.
But somewhere along the line, society managed to twist the once traditional sense of courting and dating into this “title controversy”. It even redefined and tried to standardize what it meant to be “couple”, since no longer could it simply be referred to as two people being together. And like with many things, society added a dimension of complexity to where it sought fit, as if the idea of simplicity was “unrealistic”.
Nowadays, it seems like many couples, especially teenagers, are starting to feel the pressure of society to live this “fairy tale fantasy”, commonly mimicking the scenes s/he once saw in a Disney movie. But it seems like the only way to have this “perfect” life is through having a relationship. Or even more so, an “official”, publicly established relationship, that others are expected to admire upon.
- “Aw, you two are such a cute couple!”
- “You two are so perfect together!”
- “Is s/he your boy/girlfriend?”
- “Did s/he ask you out yet?”
- “Wait, does this mean you two are official now?”
Don’t we, or at least, shouldn’t we, be tired of those type of comments and questions by now? I understand that the idea of being labelled as a “cute couple” or being “perfect together” may be a big deal to some people, by making them believe that they are being idolized by others, but really, what’s the big deal?
Last time I checked, a couple is between two people— not everyone else and their included opinions.
Personally, I don’t believe others’ comments and judgments about a couple should matter, or have any effect on two people being (or wanting to be) together. Why should it matter how “cute” or “perfect” a couple is? Something being cute is just a subjective measure of aesthetic appeal. But for a relationship, it should take more than just looks for the people to want to be together, if that makes sense. Undeniably, it may play in as a factor, but in most relationships, I’d like to believe people aren’t shallow enough to be together, solely because of others’ opinions of their exterior compatibility.
Secondly, who are others to say that a couple is “perfect”? They may seem to have the ideal relationship, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they actually have that. The word “perfect” seems to just be a judgment that barely scratches the surface to how a relationship is expected to be. Sure, couples tend to have similar interests and passions, but underlying those are differences, which may be the root of their problems. But in an effort to always keep up a happy, perfect couple façade to impress others, they sweep them under a rug, pretend they don’t exist, and just argue in private.
The last three points revolve around the central idea of what society perceives as “acceptable” factors to forming a relationship. “Boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are just additional labels that fall under the “title” of having an “official” relationship. Nowadays, it doesn’t seem enough for a couple to be “unofficially” together, in which one person hasn’t formally “asked out” the other, especially for an extended time period. But in both cases, shouldn’t those words carry more of a meaning than what is explicitly stated by the given “title” and defined by society (usually peer groups)? Whether someone is technically your “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, or not, shouldn’t mean you should expect different standards of each other. Additionally, it shouldn’t take the words “will you go out with me?” or anything along those lines, to majorly impact how a relationship is formed or kept together. What should be emphasized is the foundation of the relationship (one not based aside from the title), and the effort put into the relationship to make it work, despite any complications and problems.
The only difference between “official” and “unofficial” relationships? The publicity of “official” relationships seems to slip off the tongue a bit sweeter and simpler, than having to explain to others the means of your “unofficial” relationship and significant other. Also, official relationships seem to agree with society’s assumptions that “happily together” means overall happiness, in general. Whereas, unofficial relationships can sometimes make a couple look like they are scared or aren’t ready to “take the big step up”— which isn’t always the case; there’s usually more (hidden) detail behind that.
Bottom line: society has the power to pressure couples to go to measures like pretending to be happy and perfect, in an effort to meet others’ expectations of what their “title” should uphold, putting their own happiness as a secondary priority.
So really, is a “title” that important that we can push ourselves to that level? Or better yet, why do we allow ourselves to be influenced by that type of label?
After all, a “title” is just a word, right?
I really, really admire your blog.
Written on my other blog. It had been a while since I had written something thought-provoking like this, but I’m glad to say I’m back at it. I like this one :) And aw, I’m quite flattered by the admiration & appreciation for my posts♥
Omj, where can I buy these? :3
(via eatingdeathblueberries)
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
John Legend - Tonight (Best You Ever Had) feat. Ludacris
Lonny Breaux produced—
rereblog
Feelin’ this. :)
Unnecessary Drama.
What happened to the times when thoughts could be expressed, even a glimpse of them, without people judging. When opening and expressing your thoughts used to be accepted and welcome, rather than be pushed and otherwise closeted.
What happened to the times when people could write about things, without others trying to decode these supposedly “hidden” messages within the text. And even more, through pixels. Pixels are nothing, but a block that makes up a computer screen. They don’t even compare or can manage to handle the messages they are set to write.
And don’t you think that if someone really had a problem they wanted to talk about, they’d go up to a person and tell them, in person? Rather than have others try to extract otherwise false and wrong messages from what it is chosen to be typed. It’s like trying to figure out what a puzzle is displaying as a whole, when you’ve only got one small piece at hand to work with. Sure, you can take guesses, but in the end, the image is still too vague to be exactly (and correctly) understood.
I don’t understand this. At all.
Like other people, I’ve had my fair share of “hate mail”, whether it be via online, in person or over a sometimes “anonymous” phone call. But what’s the point of it all? It’s just unnecessary drama people are trying to conduct, don’t you think so? Like trying to spark a flame upon damp wood, if that makes sense. It’s useless, but with enough effort (and must I say, too much free time), it could happen. But bottom line: why bother?
And don’t you think society should know by now that they shouldn’t believe everything they hear or are told? Things, like rumors, never seem to tell the whole story, or want to. They just take a small portion or sound clip, out of context, and ridiculously expand upon it and/or use it to shine a person in a bad light.
But in the long run, it seems counterintuitive: the more you try to point out others’ flaws, the more you put the focus on your own.
Much of society needs to grow up, and I bet many of you would agree. Things are only humorous onto a certain point, before they get pushed too far. And if anyone’s noticed, the limits have been pushed much beyond their original standing.
Society needs a reality check, because if it’s somehow a “priority”, or even a considerable option, to try to bring someone down over a mistake, lapse in judgement or flaw, then I worry for what this, and especially the next, generation will have to deal with. And hopefully they’ll be blessed with enough strength to overcome such ordeals.
Creating drama from nothing and drawing conclusions from vague blurs has to stop. Seriously. Not only is everyone getting tired of it, but it’s unnecessary.
Denying yourself and others from protruding your/their mischievous thoughts is always an option. Remember that. Because the next person you may try to afflict this type of agony upon may not have the strength to see past the rough. And any consequences handled in a negative favor, neither helps nor benefits anyone. Period.
